Are sexual offenders truly held accountable? When does accountability end?
Earlier this week, Baba Ijesha and fashion entrepreneur CEO Luminee announced the birth of their son, and what should have been a simple moment of celebration reignited public debates about his crimes, conviction, imprisonment, and return to public space. The attention was shifted away from the baby itself and more on what the announcement reminds Nigerians of.
There were so many questions on whether the society should move on from sexual abuse cases. Instead of “Congratulations” flooding the timelines, people revisited the actor’s conviction in a child sexual assault case. Social media once again reminds us that the story never ends according to your plan.
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How many chances should society give sexual offenders?
This is an uncomfortable question that we all try to avoid because there is no definite answer that doesn’t cast aspersions on your sense of judgment, whichever way you sway.
Nigerians have the habit of moving on quickly. We move on from politicians and their corruption. We move on from scandals. We move on from the hike in fuel prices. Before we finish processing one headline, we have moved on to the next. Our attention span has gone with the wind.
But sexual abuse cases are supposed to be treated differently because it leaves the victims with a bag full of trauma and stigmatization. When the news cycle ends, the trauma doesn’t.
One of the worst things about public conversations around abuse is how short-lived they are. For a few weeks, everyone becomes a warrior. There are hashtags, lengthy captions, and promises to make sure the offender pays, but something else arrives and everyone forgets.
A celebrity wedding. Influencers can even fight each other for clout, and people will fall for it. The victim of sexual abuse quietly disappears from the trend table and the consciousness of the public.
Then the offender is emboldened to remain visible. They return to their careers. They return to social media like nothing happened. They find audiences who tell people to let things go since they have apologized. Sometimes they even become inspirational stories about resilience. How they were mocked and judged, but grace found them. Meanwhile, someone’s life has been permanently altered by the abuse. The victim is expected to continue living with what happened.
What Does the Society Owe Victims of Sexual Abuse?
Whenever the discussion about forgiveness or redemption comes up, the victims of sexual abuse are often not considered. The spotlight is usually on the sexual offenders.
People start to ask, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?”
“Shouldn’t he be allowed to move on?”
“He has served his term.”
“He has apologized.”
The society should really ask, “Has the victim healed yet?”
“What does life feel like for the victim afterwards?”
“How does public forgiveness make survivors feel?”
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And this is a familiar thing for many African women. They have watched their family protect an uncle. They’ve watched communities defend abusive husbands. They’ve seen religious leaders tear families apart. Mothers have told their daughters to keep quiet and not bring shame to the family.
Victims are used as a passing reference, but the offender will be considered human before being judged.
Of course, sexual offenders can change. People change. I mean, that is one of the main purposes of correctional facilities. But redemption and justice are not the same.
One can become a better spouse, but the trust cannot be like it was before. And that is where many people struggle. Some actions permanently alter how sexual offenders are perceived, and that’s bound to happen. A sexual offender’s public forgiveness doesn’t erase the victim’s reality.
How Many Chances Is Too Many?
There is no universal answer to this question. It is about morals. It’s an uncomfortable conversation between justice and mercy. Every society handles situations like sexual abuse differently. Every generation sees it from a different perspective.
Although public outrage can be intense, it is usually temporary. The Baba Ijesha conversation proves that people didn’t necessarily forget the situation. They just stop talking about it. And silence is often mistaken for forgiveness, but they are not the same thing. Years may pass, but a new issue can bring everything back to the surface.
There is a difference between freedom and acceptance. Serving a sentence answers a question. However, public acceptance is another thing. The society might find it hard to process or move on from an offense.
And perhaps that is why the conversation around Baba Ijesha and CEO Luminee’s child sparked such outrage. The baby was never the real story. The reactions were centered around her decision to be with him despite questions around his morals. Our inconsistency about accountability. Our tendency to remember victims only when a scandal is fresh. Our uncertainty about whether consequences should have an ending.
Unsurprisingly, the public moved on from this outrage within two days. Another headline will pop up, the debates will trend, and people will pick sides, but what will matter is what people focus on.
Would the victim be prioritized, or will the sexual offender get “forgiven” if he serves his time or apologizes online?
