Nigerian men have normalized having an opinion on women’s bodies, especially pregnant women. They have thoughts on weight gain, natural looks, makeup, stretch marks, pregnancy, and postpartum bodies.
Honestly, if women reciprocated that much energy, the air we breathe in will be foul from all the toxicity. Everyone is now an expert on what a woman’s body should look like, and it must be according to their standard.
Temi Otedola posted one harmless video of her working out while pregnant, and the internet took a beautiful moment and blew it out of proportion. We all could have admired it, drop a like and moved on, but no.
Instead, X did what X does.
The timeline became a dumping ground for hot takes and vents about how Nigerian women become lazy, entitled, and ugly during pregnancy. I don’t know about anyone else, but reading such opinions in this generation was definitely not on my bingo card.
One tweet said, “Pregnancy isn’t an excuse to look rough.”
Another concluded that “Nigerian women use pregnancy to abandon themselves.”
Suddenly, one woman became the yardstick for how every Nigerian woman’s body should react to carrying another life.
Alas! The generation that was raised in the post-colonial era with access to private education.
The internet is such a funny place. A billionaire’s daughter posts her workout video, and somehow other women are catching strays, but when Temi and Mr. Eazi talked about having nine doctors in different countries, men have not found their voices. It’s easy to be judgmental of a condition you will never understand when you choose to ignore the different circumstances that surround every woman’s journey.
What Really Happens to Pregnant Women
Every woman wishes for the type of pregnancy that makes them glow, with a cute bump and a body that makes people say, “You really humbled pregnancy.” Why? Social media sells the perfect reel.
The pregnancy glow, matching gym set, aesthetic maternity shoot, and baby shower.
No one shares the behind-the-scenes where they are throwing up four times after breakfast. Or feeling like your back is no longer yours.
Pregnancy is beyond carrying a baby. For most pregnant women, it’s a constant feeling out of body because your body is trying to adjust to the fact that a whole human is growing inside you.
Your hormones are shooting for the roof. Your uterus is expanding. Organs are shifting. You are either dealing with weight gain or loss, swollen feet, hair loss, or acne.
Some women can workout until their due date. Others are placed on bed rest before they even start showing. It is not a one-size-fits-all experience.
Like the Temi Otedola situation, we don’t know the backstory or her personal struggles. Nigerian men just assumed she has it easy because she looked put together in a 30-second video. More so, she is not “every pregnant woman.” Temi has access to things Nigerians can only bookmark on Pinterest.
She probably has it all.
A nutritionist on call. Personal trainers who know what exercises are safe. Household staff. Enough time to rest.
She is not one struggling woman in Ogudu waking up by 4:30 am daily to cook for her family before facing Lagos traffic on her way to a stressful 9-5.
I’m not saying having luxury at your disposal makes pregnancy easy. Temi herself spoke about dealing with fatigue and sickness during her first trimester. But resources matter. A woman who is worried about hospital bills isn’t living the same reality as someone who never has to bother about antenatal fees.
Social Commentary About Women’s Body
The conversation wasn’t even about Temi. What makes it problematic is that the society has normalized treating women’s bodies like public property.
They want to know when you’re getting pregnant, how you look during pregnancy, and how your body snaps back afterwards. It’s fascinating how no one scrutinizes a man’s body.
Read Also: 9 Common Women’s Health Myths Many Africans Still Believe
Many women who have experienced pregnancy probably saw that video and thought about days when their feet looked like they didn’t belong to them. Days when they’re tired but still power through because they don’t want to sound like a nag. Pregnancy is one of the biggest physical changes a body can experience.
Must a woman’s body be subjected to scrutiny and performance?
When did pregnancy become a beauty standard instead of a health journey?
What does constant comparison do for anybody?
