Hey Sis.
I’m a disabled young lady who is so scared of her future. I clocked 28 this year and all my life, no man has ever looked at me, or even approached me. I have never ever felt attractive. I’ve never felt beautiful. I’ve never been complimented. I know my situation but I believe I deserve to get loved. I want to experience love. I don’t know if I’m too much of a dreamer. Will someone ever love me?. ~ Olivia
Elohor’s Answer
Sis, thank you so much for sharing your heart with me. Your honesty is beautiful in itself, and I want to start by saying this: yes, someone can and will love you.
SEE ALSO: What Is Life Like When You Take Love Out Of The Picture?
But here’s the truth; any negative feelings you carry about yourself will not magically disappear just because a man loves you. His love will help, yes, but you also have to do the inner work of seeing yourself as worthy, whole, and beautiful beyond your disability. Love from others is powerful, but love for yourself is what makes it last.
I know it’s not easy, especially in today’s world where social media constantly pressures us with appearances and comparisons. That’s why you must give yourself grace. Slow down, breathe, and remind yourself that you don’t need to look like everyone else to be valuable. You are already enough.
Start with small, practical steps. Read books that lift your spirit. Spend time doing what you love, whether it’s writing, singing, crafting, or learning something new. Build habits that make you happy. Many times, it’s in these moments of joy and wholeness that the right person will notice you. Don’t live in the shadows of negativity; step into spaces where you can shine as yourself.
Surround yourself with people who see beyond your physical weakness. True friends, mentors, and communities that celebrate your character and gifts will help you see what’s already true: that you are lovable and valuable. And sis, don’t forget this, character matters. Develop yourself in ways that stand out. Be kind, be strong, be purposeful.
I’ll share something with you. I once saw a young woman who, despite her disability, got married to an amazing man who adored her. And you know what? Everyone who knew her could testify that she was vibrant, productive, talented, self-motivated, and incredibly smart. Her beauty shone from her spirit, and that was what drew people to her.
So yes, love is possible for you. It may not come tomorrow, but it will come, and when it does, you’ll be ready not as someone waiting to be completed, but as a whole, beautiful woman ready to share her life.
My beloved, don’t give up on yourself. Be happy, even while waiting. The right person will see you, all of you, and love you deeply.
Names may be changed to maintain the anonymity of the asker. This column is dedicated to answering the real questions of our readers, with thoughtful responses from our editor, Elohor Ogaga-Edafe. To ask your own question, send an email to editor@elowellmax.com.
