Domestic violence is not a new phenomenon. It has been a part of human history as long as intimate partnerships have existed. However, women are the common victims of abuse.
How many bruises are hidden behind “I’m fine”?
A woman can play host with a bruise hidden under careful makeup, serve food with trembling hands, and still be praised as a “good wife.” Behind closed doors, she is living in fear, control, humiliation, and pain. Yet when asked how she is doing, she smiles and says, “I’m fine.” Women have learned to protect the image of the home, even when the home is where the danger lives.
We are not trying to shame women. This is to challenge a culture that has trained women to suffer in silence, which often results in protecting the abuser and not holding them accountable for their actions. It is time to break the culture of silence and reclaim your dignity and voice.
Recognizing Domestic Violence
A woman is saddled with the responsibility of keeping a home. She is expected to live up to the title of a “homemaker.” So, she can’t break her home, even when it is trying to break her. The society expects her to endure it all; her silence is mistaken for strength, and her endurance is praised as a virtue.
Domestic violence is a major threat for women, and it is important to recognize the signs and patterns of an abusive relationship. Although it is often misunderstood as only physical assault, it actually comes in many forms of abuse. It is your partner who apologizes for saying hurtful things repeatedly. It is forced intimacy disguised as marital duty. It is when your husband monitors your movement. It is verbal abuse, intimidation, constant criticism, and threats that women have normalized.
Silence does not neutralize violence. It protects it.
If your partner monitors your movement, often acts jealous or possessive, controls your access to money, insults you and tries to put you down, stops you from doing what you love, hits you, stops you from seeing family members, coerces you to engage in sexual acts, and blames you for the problems in the relationship, then you are clearly experiencing domestic violence.
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The Silence Cycle
Women do not hold their intimate partners accountable in a bid to massage their ego, save face, or protect their homes and relationships. When extended families get involved, they try to settle the matter quietly, expecting the woman to be understanding. enduring and doing everything to preserve her home. Meanwhile, the man is not held accountable. It has been proven over time that patriarchy normalizes abuse.
This is not just a threat to the woman but to the children as well. Children raised in unstable homes are learning that love comes with fear and cruelty is power, and this prepares them to replicate the pattern in the future.
We often wonder why women remain silent. And many of the reasons usually boil down to survival. Women remain in abusive relationships for reasons like wanting to stay married to avoid the stigma of divorce, financial dependency, and fear of raising children alone, while some do not trust the authorities to protect them. So, they endure. But at what cost?
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The cost of silence is devastating. Bodily injuries, illness, mental stress, anxiety, trauma, and depression as an aftermath of prolonged abuse. Domestic violence escalates over time, and it could be life-threatening, doing both physical and emotional damage.
But breaking silence doesn’t have to start with a public report or seeking public opinion. Sometimes it begins with documenting incidents, or building financial independence, or speaking to a trusted friend or family member. Remember that it is not just for you but for your children as well. They deserve a safe and sane environment to thrive. Sadly, it’s a life cycle that comes back to pinch the society if children are made to experience these issues.
Communities must also change their response. Families must stop sending their daughters back into danger in the name of reputation. The society must start holding men accountable and eradicate the unreasonable belief that “It’s a man’s world.” No culture should put a gender at the mercy of another.
To every woman reading this, your life is not the price to pay for honor within the society. Enduring abuse has never stopped it. Your silence is not a duty, and your voice is not disobedience.
