A crown is not heavy because it is made of gold; it is heavy because of what it carries: identity.
Our hair is no different. We protect what we value; our hair deserves the same respect. Yet, too often, it is ignored, sacrificed at the altar of busyness, tucked away in buns, scarves, and bonnets, left to fend for itself.
Before the outfit, before the perfume, even before the heels touch the floor, there is the hair. It announces our presence before we speak. It frames the face that faces the world. And still, when life gets hectic, hair care becomes an afterthought.
To me, hair is power, femininity, and confidence. Walking into a room, your hair speaks before you do, so why not let it say everything you want it to? Maintaining our “crown” is not just vanity; it is self-respect.
In African culture, hair carries deep meaning: it reflects tribe, spirituality, social status, and artistry. In modern society, it has become a symbol of beauty and desirability. But hair care is more than a weekly wash, it is a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
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When we neglect our hair, it mirrors what is happening inside us. Stress, exhaustion, and emotional fatigue often manifest in how we care for our crowns, or don’t. Why do we leave our hair overdue? Why do we tuck it away under scarves and bonnets and tell ourselves, “I’ll do it later”? That is not laziness, it is a polite way of abandoning ourselves. And that is sad.
That is why I see hair care as intentional living. It is my weekly date with myself. There is nothing quite like the ritual: warm water running through my hair, the scent of oils in the shampoo, the slow detangling, the shivers it sometimes brings, and the quiet that follows. It is meditative, grounding, and restorative. Intentional hair care is about treating your hair as a reflection of respect and self-care.
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Understanding your hair type and its needs is key. Choose products that genuinely understand the assignment. Learn what works for you, whether your goal is to grow it longer, maintain its current state, or experiment with styles. Treat washing and conditioning as spa-like experiences, not chores to dread. Create a schedule for your hair-care day and protect your hair while you sleep using silk or satin bonnets. Manage stress, because the main work begins from within. Eat a diet rich in protein, iron, and omega-3 fatty acids to support hair growth, and stay hydrated. Consistency in care translates to consistency in self-respect.
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I will use myself as an example. Taking good care of my hair has been a ritual passed down to me by my mum. From a young age, people would always ask her how she maintained my hair’s fullness and shine. Genetics laid the foundation, but her intentional care, her consistency, and her understanding of hair as something sacred made all the difference. Even today, watching her explain how she maintains hair and seeing the admiration it draws makes me feel proud and grounded. Her confidence and the intentionality she invests in hair care taught me that nurturing yourself is indeed essential.
Freshly washed hair or neatly styled braids do more than look good, they make you feel good. There is a quiet psychology in well-maintained hair: you touch it less, worry less about judgment, and feel freer in your mind. Well-maintained hair is a visual declaration that you attend to yourself. It reflects discipline, self-trust, and confidence.
The parallels between hair care and life are clear. Even the finest plants wither if neglected, deprived of water and nutrients. Hair, like life, demands attention, care, and patience. Taking time for our crowns is an act of self-love, and when we maintain our hair, we maintain our sense of self.
Marilyn Monroe understood something many of us forget: when the hair is done, the woman feels done. A well-styled head of hair straightens the face, amplifies confidence, and enhances femininity. Conversely, a neglected crown can mirror neglect within. Our hair is a daily reflection of our self-discipline, our intentionality, and our commitment to honoring ourselves.
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Hair maintenance requires consistency, intentionality, and discipline. Discipline builds self-trust. Through hair care, we begin to understand ourselves more deeply. We communicate a powerful message to the world and, more importantly, to ourselves: I take care of myself. I know what’s best for me.
This is why self-care without hair care doesn’t make sense to me. Hair is not superficial. It is a crown, a symbol of identity, and a daily expression of self-respect. When I invest in my hair, I invest in myself. It reminds me that caring for my body, my mind, and my appearance are not separate acts, they are intertwined.
Intentional hair care is more than cosmetic, it is transformative. It teaches patience, self-love, and the art of mindfulness. Every shampoo, every detangle, every braid, or style is a conversation with oneself. It is a reminder that I am worthy of care, attention, and respect. My crown, my identity, my hair—it deserves nothing less than my full commitment.
So, if your hair is your crown, what does its condition say about how you value yourself? For me, it says everything.
