What does self-care look like?
Self-care is subjective. It means different things to different people. For some it’s bubble baths and scented candles. For others, it’s eating suya while they “Netflix and chill” or finally blocking a toxic ex.
Sometimes, it feels like an impossible hurdle. You doubt if you are up to doing the skincare routine you just learned online. You wish you could cancel your manicure appointment, but you already made part payment. That “God abeg” drawl shows up every now and then.
We’ve been sold the idea that “soft life” is self-care. The spa treatments, clean aesthetics, and expensive skincare are enticing, but in reality, we are trying to avoid Lagos traffic, earn a living, and survive the day.
Let’s talk about how self-care happens to us individually.
Reality check
The popular version of self-care is picture-perfect, but for Nigerian women, it smells like cocoa butter and fried stew. Self-care for Nigerian women is practical and intentional. There is Nepa, landlord wahala, family matters, and work demands, among other issues to think about. So, we need a more grounded form of self-care.
Imagine trying to have a bubble bath after a long week. You light the expensive scented candle you bought online, turn on mood music, and pour yourself a glass of champagne, then Nepa takes the light halfway into your relaxation. You think you are disappointed? Wait until your neighbor turns on his generator to drown out the tranquillity. You can’t even watch the sunset like the Pinterest inspiration you saved because the landlords on your street want to maximize their two plots of land.
Truthfully, there is nothing wrong with wanting those calm, picturesque moments; just admit that only you choose what you want it to be.
Redefining self-care
If your version of self-care is watching Jenifa’s diary, by all means, carry on. Do whatever you can for your mental health.
Self-care can look like:
- Saying no to that hangout instead of a guilty “sure.”
- Pounding the calories out of yam and introducing it to egusi.
- Putting your phone on ‘DND’ before going to bed.
- Soaking your leg in warm water and sipping a hot beverage.
That act of wellness can be as simple as rewarding yourself with small chops when your salary drops because you sef don try.
The unspoken truth
Nigerian women always show up. It’s an unwritten mantra. We are managing work, family, religious activities, and sometimes motherhood. Amidst the chaos, we must prioritize rest, against what we’ve been conditioned to believe.
We can’t do life alone. Occasionally, we need to let others take care of us. This might come in the guise of an assistant to do the chores while you focus on your family, sharing reels, or simply bonding over memes with friends.
Self-care doesn’t always mean luxury; it’s in those little moments. If you can afford the luxury, please go for it. Keep in mind that your peace doesn’t have to look like someone else’s. Ultimately, self-care is about prioritizing personal well-being amidst life’s chaos.
Next time you see that picture-perfect reel or Pinterest post, save it or ignore it. The choice is yours.
What’s important is that you take care of yourself and do whatever is valid for your mental health.
