Relationships can be scary, confusing, and downright exhausting. One moment, you’re overwhelmed with mixed feelings and doubts, unsure of their origin. The next, you’re convinced that love is not for you—maybe you should just become a nun. Then, suddenly, you’re all cuddled up again, believing in love once more.
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Whether you like it or not, relationship ups and downs are a part of life. Unfortunately, there’s very little you can do to avoid them.
You Can’t Change Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Change
One of the hardest pills to swallow in relationships is realizing that you cannot change someone who does not want to change. Love doesn’t work that way. You also cannot force someone to love or value you in the way you deserve. If they don’t see your worth, it’s simple—walk away.
What’s there to prove anyway? Your time and energy are better spent building yourself rather than trying to convince someone to love you. There is so much more waiting for you once you move past your losses and look ahead to new possibilities.
A Good Person Doesn’t Always Mean a Good Partner
Heartbreak can be painful, but here’s something to remember: even a genuinely good person may not be the right one for you.
It’s easy to believe that kindness, affection, generosity, and commitment automatically make someone an ideal partner. But the truth is, just because someone is good doesn’t mean they are good for you.
You could be an amazing person, and so could they, but together, you may simply not work. Relationships require more than just individual goodness—they require compatibility and a shared willingness to make things work. Two people may be great on their own, but without mutual effort and understanding, they may still be an imperfect match.
Not all exes are demons either. The relationship simply didn’t work out, and that’s okay. If you and your partner are truly meant for each other, then both of you must be willing to work through issues and make things right.
The Right Person Aligns with Your Purpose
This is, without a doubt, one of the best pieces of dating advice you’ll ever hear. Being with someone who doesn’t align with your purpose can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.
Imagine training your whole life to become a doctor, and then a partner comes along, insisting that you should abandon your career to be a full-time homemaker. While personal choices and sacrifices are a part of relationships, it’s crucial to find someone who respects your goals and ambitions rather than undermining them.
A healthy relationship should not require you to give up your entire life and dreams just because your partner thinks you should, especially during the dating stage. Yes, compromises and sacrifices happen, particularly in marriage, but they should always be for a reason that strengthens your union rather than diminishing your individuality.
For example, quitting your job to relocate with your spouse for better opportunities makes sense when the benefits are clear and mutually agreed upon. But giving up on your dreams entirely for someone else’s comfort is a different story.
The right person will encourage your ambitions, offer clarity, and help define your drive rather than suppress it.
Give Yourself a Break
Taking a break from relationships can be one of the healthiest decisions you ever make. Just as your body needs rest, so do your heart and mind.
Being intentional about stepping back from the highs and lows of relationships can be incredibly beneficial to your emotional well-being. Sometimes, a little space and time alone can lead you to the right person, giving you a fresh perspective on what you truly need.
Jumping from one relationship to another without addressing past hurts will only cause more emotional distress. Allow yourself time to heal, grow, and rediscover what you truly want in a partner before diving back into the dating world.
Not All Dating Advice Is Meant for You
One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming that all relationship advice applies to them. The truth is, what works for one person may not work for another. Relationships are unique, and so are the individuals in them.
The key is to filter the advice you receive, taking in what resonates with your experience and leaving out what doesn’t. The best dating advice is the one that aligns with your values, aspirations, and emotional well-being.
In the end, love should bring you peace, not confusion. The right person will feel like home—not a battlefield.
