Let’s have an honest reflection on self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
There are moments when an individual achieves the most accomplishments of their life, yet they wonder if they truly deserve it. For instance, you can work hard on a work project, and when it turns out successful, the applause comes. Beneath the modest smile, a thought creeps in quietly, asking if you truly deserve it or if you just got lucky.
Well, this is the voice of self-doubt, which always leads to “imposter syndrome,” a feeling of unworthiness or undeserving of one’s success even if it was achieved through skills and effort. Imposter syndrome is that unsettling feeling that you are not enough; it’s that quiet voice that questions everything you do or whispers, “You know you are not qualified for this.”
The Quiet Voice that Questions Everything
“You are just lucky.” “People with a past like yours don’t deserve this.”
At first, the feeling might be unnoticed, fleeting, and easily dismissible, but it can linger into a deeper heaviness. Then, it begins to reflect in the way you speak, your thoughts, and even your approach to opportunities. Some people hurt their interest because they hesitated or doubted their capabilities.
Sadly, we live in a world that measures success by comparison and constantly pits women against each other. It takes strong self-esteem not to question your worth. Although imposter syndrome can have one feeling like a stranger to their story, it can really be unlearned.
The Psychology Behind Self-doubt
It is believed that self-doubt is a way the mind protects itself from failure or disappointment. Sometimes, it begins as early as childhood. Imposter syndrome stems from harsh words from parents or teachers. The feeling of inadequacy builds up from snide comments about a child’s mistakes or comparisons with other children who are doing well academically.
Consequently, it leads to the desire for perfection, an unending pursuit of “more.” Such a person finds themself working extra hard to feel worthy of an achievement. Self-doubt is a defense mechanism rooted in fear. Fear of failure, the unknown, and rejection that is manifesting as a result of the wrong orientation of the society we live in.
But to overcome self-doubt, you must first recognize it and understand that it is a pattern of innate thoughts that can be changed.
The Culture of Comparison
The African society uses marriage, a good-paying job, and wealth as standards for success. A good-paying job to Africans means a conventional career like doctor, lawyer, or engineer; anything else is considered irrelevant. The cultural pressure is heavier for women. A woman’s success is measured with a thicker yardstick. Her blooming career means nothing if she’s not married. Her opinions are questioned at work, and she has to work extra hard to prove herself worthy of a role a male counterpart will get easily.
Furthermore, social media adds a gash to an already wounded mind. Scrolling through people’s achievements and well-curated lives makes people forget that they only see a fragment that wants to be shown, not the real story. This slowly eats at people’s confidence.
Signs You Might be Experiencing Imposter Syndrome
Anxiety blurs the lines between ambition and fear. You might find yourself pushing harder not for passion but out of fear.
Some of the signs are:
- The habit of downplaying achievements or attributing them to luck.
- Overworking to prove competence.
- A persistent fear of being discovered as a fraud.
- Constant comparison with the accomplishments of others.
- Feeling undeserving of praise or accolades.
If any of these patterns sounds familiar, know that you are not alone. Many successful people battle this, but change comes in awareness and then leads to working it out with understanding.
How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome
- Recognize the voice of doubt. When you pay attention to your feelings, it helps you pause and question the voice in your head. You will then realize it is the voice of fear.
- Use failure as feedback—failure has been misinterpreted as an unexpected ending when it is actually a reflection of mistakes from which lessons must be learned. When something doesn’t work out, it is an opportunity to learn from the errors and use it to refine the decisions you make.
- Celebrate small wins—confidence doesn’t grow from perfection, but from small wins. It’s in the little things, like a shy person speaking in public or finishing up a task. Acknowledging every progress you make conditions your mind to the pattern of growth.
- Surround yourself with supportive voices. Your environment can either make or mar you. Surround yourself with mentors, friends, or support groups that help you change the narrative in your mind.
- Your titles don’t define you. Don’t tie your self-worth to your titles or accolades. You are larger than that.
Ultimately, be kind to yourself rather than criticizing your decisions. Confidence is not the absence of fear or doubt. It is the decision to move forward irrespective. You are not an imposter; you are growing into who you already are. Don’t let uncertainty steal your effort and skills.
