Growing up can be one of the most challenging phases of life. You have to make critical choices, ditch old habits, get along with grumpy adults, and learn to act like one. While these experiences can sometimes be a pain in the neck, it’s quite okay to look back in retrospect and underline some lessons for the future.
The mistakes I made as a teenager stem from different factors, which may be distinct from one person to another.
As a child, you can always get away with mischief. You can pull out a strand of grandpa’s beard and go scot-free; in fact, everyone would laugh it off. You can dodge house chores and be ignored, perhaps after receiving a series of stern warnings. A child’s indulgence can be easily spared, but as you transition into adulthood, be prepared for a shock.
Being a teenager is quite fun, but you’re bound to make a lot of silly mistakes along the way. Here are the five worst mistakes I made as a teenager and the lessons I’ve learned from them.
1. Paying Too Much Attention to the Noise
One inherent feature of humans is the tendency to nag and complain constantly. Fault-finding is a characteristic of many adults, even those you wouldn’t expect it from. Sometimes, your best is never good enough. You hear words like:
- “You’re so dumb.”
- “You’re too fat.”
- “Your head looks big like a tank.”
All these are just noise—statements targeted at hurting your self-worth.
Sadly, I spent much of my teenage years ruminating on the nonsense people had to say about me. Worst of all, most of these hurtful words came from people I loved, trusted, and shared a lot with.
Dwelling on what others say about you can spoil your chances of experiencing a smooth transition into adulthood. As long as you hold on to these words, you may never see the good in yourself.
Eventually, you’re the one who ends up with shrunken eyes from crying too much. It’s you who ends up feeling less, while the people who hurt you remain unbothered. So, really, what’s the point?
2. Arguing a Lot
Arguments can be constructive when properly carried out. Through healthy debates, you can learn, broaden your thinking, and polish your intuition. The primary purpose of arguments is to make logical assertions and discover the truth or falsehood of a claim.
However, not everyone loves being caught in heated debates. Well, I did. I saw every argument as an opportunity to make a point, prove myself, and stand out.
Most of these arguments were within my family circle, but on a few occasions, they extended to others. I always wanted to be heard. I wanted to be listened to.
For me, arguing did more harm than good. I was often tagged as an “inexperienced and overzealous teen” who always tried to make a point. The more I tried to explain myself, the more I found myself arguing even more.
In the end, I lost about 70% of the time, and the feeling of losing repeatedly left me mentally drained.
3. Unrealistic Fantasies
The fantasy of achieving great things before 18 is common, and it’s not a bad dream to have. However, most of these fantasies are far from reality. Focusing solely on being rich without understanding the process is “a waste of time and venture.”
By process, I mean the many failures, attempts, and heartaches you’ll go through before you achieve success. Don’t forget the countless times you’ll get close to success, only to start all over again.
Not everyone is lucky to come from a prestigious home where assets are waiting for them to possess. Some of us have to work for every penny.
Holding on to so many fantasies without a long-term plan can be quite unrealistic. Too many expectations can make you push yourself too far and fall into errors that can ruin you. Set goals, work hard, and be prepared for setbacks along the way.
4. Feeling Unloved by Family
Almost everyone has felt unloved by family at some point. First, for the record, parents can be so annoying. They’ll always drive you crazy with their many demands, corrections, and instructions. Sometimes, they’ll tell you to do things that make no sense and seem totally archaic.
At some point, you start to wonder, “Do they even care about me? I doubt it.”
I’ve been there too. I often felt like I didn’t fit in and thought I wasn’t loved. Looking back, I realized quite late that the scolding and corrections were lessons that would eventually form the foundation of my success.
Feeling persistently unloved can be the start of depression and isolation. You may begin to withdraw, feel alone, and lose self-esteem. Eventually, you might build your values on resentment and self-hate—something that’s hard to undo.
5. Sticking to Orthodoxy
Doing things the way they’ve always been done is perhaps the reason for the lack of innovation in so many people’s lives. The earlier you realize that conventional methods may not always be the best, the quicker you’ll start finding your own path.
Everyone expected me to go to law school, but what if I wanted to be an artist?
I spent half my teenage years following the conventional path. Yes, I never got into trouble, but I never really dared to dream big or do bold things until I finally opened my eyes.
Sticking to what everyone says is right may prevent you from discovering your true potential. Independence of thought is one of the biggest steps a teenager can ever take.
This doesn’t mean breaking rules for the sake of rebellion. Rather, it means breaking free from constraints that act as “walls” blocking your vision. Discover yourself, even if it means going against the norm.
